Bittersweet

As I am sitting at my desk this morning my stomach is churning into knots, and no it's not the Grande latte I just drank. It's because today we are expecting to receive an offer on our first house. Our house has been on the market since August. We bought it the week before we got married and have loved every minute of turning it into our home.

When we bought it, I carefully selected paint colors for every room and made an un-realistic list of everything I wanted to change from tile, to a new fancy bathtub, even a new screened in porch with spiral staircase to the balcony! So what exactly did we do? Paint, that's about it. My sister-in-law laughed when I told her everything we were going to do and said that I would probably never get around to it. She was right, but it was our first house so I was a little naive. Once we started living in our house, all those little things just kind of disappeared.

I am having mixed emotions about selling. At first we wanted to sell to move down the street to the house with the bigger backyard. Then we needed to sell because my husband took a job in Dallas and has been commuting since January and now we are just not sure if we really want to leave Tyler. I have always lusted over the big city. The shopping, the restaurants and all the culture that I was missing. I just don't know if we are willing to give up fresh air, pine trees and a star filled night sky to get it. Well, there is plenty of culture here in Tyler, just not quite the same kind I was hoping for.

Selling our first house has stirred up all kinds of emotions. At first we really thought we would get an offer in like two weeks. I mean, who wouldn't be honored to be living in our awesome house? As time went by it became more and more a reality that yes, we might see this as our home but others just see it as another house to go through and point out all the stuff they would change. How dare they, right?

The best advice is really to leave your emotions out of the deal. But how is that possible? This was our FIRST home. The first place we lived together. The first place we hosted dinner parties at. The first place we worked on with our own two hands. The first place we cultivated the yard and planted flowers. I am really going to miss my hydrangeas that took me forever to get thriving!

So as I sit here this morning, I have no witty statements or funny pictures of other people's house mishaps. I just have a bittersweet taste of losing our first home and the hope that whoever buys it will love it as much as we have, and keep my hydrangeas alive!

How was your experience of selling your first home?

~Jessica